Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a full on worrier. I worry about anything and everything, and if I can't worry enough...I worry that there aren't enough things to worry about. This is not my best quality, nor is it something that I like to focus on but when I started this blog I promised myself I would be honest and open with my feelings and these are things that have been weighing on my mind.
There has been so much going on in our life. These things are awesome and wonderful but we haven't had much of a minute to breathe...
We met with our doula this past weekend and she has asked us to do some homework. This homework was writing down all our fears, giving those fears a number and then doing a fear release activity. The thought of doing this activity really kicked that worry into high gear. Having a baby, moving, inducing lactation and growing a business does not provide a lot of time for relaxation and planning. Our weekends have been so busy that we really haven't been allotted a lot of time to prepare our plan of action. As I begin thinking about all those fears, I wanted to put them out there a part of my own fear release project.
1. Housing- We have had quite the housing saga. We currently rent. There was a time period where we were supposed to move. We got strung along a bit and then one day about 3 weeks ago we decided to buy a house...I know, we're a bit crazy. We close on the house October 10th but I still worry that we won't be ready by the time Hayden gets here. I want to have time to nest and now that we have our perfect home (we love it so much) I am worried about what comes with that. Will we close on time? Will something happen and the financing fall through? There is so much to worry about.
2. Inducing Lactation- I recently started pumping (blog post to follow) and it is TOUGH work. I worry that I won't be able to produce enough milk for our baby and we'll have to use donor milk. There is nothing wrong with this, but I want to be able to do this.
3. Our crazy dogs- Our dogs are so unpredictable and insane...I worry that they won't mesh well with the Hayden.
4. The big show- When it is finally go time, I will have a large role in the environment of the experience feels. This is an overwhelming responsiblity and I worry I won't do a good job.
5. Raising a freaking baby!!!- we tried to have a baby for so long. It is finally happening and that is SCARY!!!!!
Although these are all normal fears it is still scary to experience them. I am sure when that by the time we do the fear activity with our doula, I will have doubled my list. I am interested to see what she does with us and I will be sure to report back.
